I think this might be one of them downward spirals...

You know it's bad when I sit down to write a second blog entry for the day.

It's been another one of those days where I realize I seriously detest a ten-year-old. And then feel terrible about myself because I've allowed this job to turn me into somebody that has the capacity to almost hate a kid. Hating grownups doesn't bother me. For the most part grownups are aware of their actions and the repercussions those actions will have. If not, they should be. Kids don't have that clarity of vision. That's part of the fun of being a kid.

Conrad is different. He sounds so much like an adult sometimes I forget that he's not. He told me this afternoon, "You can't boss me around because this is like, my home, it's where I live. You can't tell me what to do." The implications of those two sentences are just simply awesome. And this was his response after I told him to go to his room after repeatedly asking him today to stop smacking/grabbing/pinching my ass. This has been going on for a few months now. He smacks my bum, I ask him to stop, he ignores. Today I added the negative reinforcement. Told him this morning that if he continued to do it he'd spend the rest of the day in his room. A couple of hours later he did it again. I asked him to stop and told him this was his last warning before having to be sent to his room. Did it a third time so I sent him off.

Was I out of line? I'm sure if I bring it up to either Sonja or Julian they'll laugh and tell me it was innocent, and whether it was or not that doesn't change the fact that I felt harassed. I somehow doubt sexual harassment is as hot a topic here as it is back home, and furthermore I think it would be hard to prove that a child is capable of it (and even if you did, what's the point? Being sent to juvie seems a little harsh, and everybody knows that juvenile records are sealed anyway).

This job and these people are fucked up. I'm sorry for the language but I don't know any other way to describe it. And they're starting to screw with my head too. Sexually harassed by a ten-year-old? Come on. That doesn't sound the least bit sane. But between the ass-grabbing (by both mother and son), the boob-groping (thankfully only done by the mother), the jokes made about my tongue ring, the jokes made about my sexual preference, the remarks about losing weight, the remarks made about me playing it fast and loose with boys, and all the other passive-aggressive snide comments that have been made, I'm surprised I've made it this far.

IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS.

Ah. Wonderful. Julian is back home so Conrad thinks he's allowed out of his room. D'you hear that scraping sound? That's me digging my fingernails in, trying desperately to keep from sliding back any further. Pity it's not going to happen.

But as much as I get upset with Conrad, it all winds up centering back on Sonja and Julian. Always the parents. Kids have to learn their behavior from somewhere. I'm guessing it's not his friends or teachers that provide the most Brittany Badmouthing. And I sure as heck don't get support from them these days either. Sonja thinks I'm mean and doesn't actually want to punish her child ever for fear he won't like her when he grows up (True Story. Heard her and Julian discussing it in the bathroom one night. I refuse to call it "eavesdropping" simply because they couldn't be bothered to spend a reasonable amount of money making sure the walls aren't paperthin.).

I suppose the thing that bums me out the most is that most everything else is going swimmingly (or at least without any major issues). It's just this stupid job.

Okay. Time for Brittany Nonsense.

I've decided I don't like Miley Cyrus because she's too wholesome. Even that Annie Liebowitz (or however you spell her silly name) photo shoot doesn't count as scandal. I WANT SCANDAL. Not because I want to gloat because I think I'm better morally/spiritually/emotionally/whatever ...I just want everyone else to be reminded that celebrities are regular people, most of which don't do anything that really warrants the stardom that they've got.

I also saw a picture of Zac Efron and Becks posing together. Man. Two guys I'm not supposed to admit being attracted to but can't really help the attraction. Efron is legal now, right? Otherwise I'm going to feel even more pervy for having a teensy little crush on a teen idol. And Beckham. I don't care how stupid and white trash Sonja and Jayne tell me his is, or how obviously faked that underwear ad was. He's still easy on the eyes and has a phenomenal free kick.

Mischa Barton is STILL UGLIER THAN SIN. Come on. Has she even done anything since leaving The OC? Let's check IMDB....Nope. Other than a bunch of links to news articles about her DUI, there ain't much on her page.

I mentioned before that Julian is working on a film adaptation of The Picture of Dorian Gray. I am BEYOND excited for this. I asked him if I could read the script but I don't think he'll let me. And to be honest, I don't want to read it anymore. I just want to be surprised. They've done a fantastic job casting (Colin Firth as the bored aristocrat fellow who totally corrupts Dorian.... YES PLEASE!).

I'm happy that everyone will be trickling back into town over the next few weeks. It'll be nice to have people to hang out with again, since it's obvious I've been going a bit mad being stuck with nothing to do during the week other than wander through my head. And me all stir-crazied out is NEVER a good thing.

Anyway. It's almost time to go get dinner going. I feel a bit better having vented again. And gossiped mindlessly about celebrities.

Word.

(PS: It's 6:25pm now. Just for those of you who want to know how long it takes me to write these.)