Character building

So today sucked. Big time. Brace yourself. This is gonna be a big whine-fest.

I wanted to slap Conrad (again), and I got yelled at by Sonja. I'm currently in a sort of self-imposed exile in my bedroom because I really don't feel like pretending just for the sake of the dinner guests (who just so happen to be the people I do tutoring for on the side. Nice mom, nice daughter...normal people). And I really don't feel like changing out of my soccer shorts/long-sleeve t-shirt. I say "sort of self-imposed" because while I wasn't sent to my room without dinner, they're definitely not inviting me down to eat. I've got my headphones on, so I admittedly can't tell if they've knocked or called my name, but I do know somebody just opened my door a tiny bit, very quietly, presumably to find out if I'm even in the house. And since I'm clacking away at the keyboard with my bedroom light on, I'm guessing they were able to tell that I'm here. They did not, however, open the door enough for me to see who it was, nor did they make any more effort than that. I suspect it was Conrad. And I really don't want to see him or have to speak to him for at least another couple of days. Here's why....

So I got up this morning at ten. Not sure what happened there. Both Conrad and Sonja are downstairs. I remark to Sonja that I thought she'd had a meeting at ten. I'm positive she said ten last night because I was going to go to the grocery store with her after her meeting got done. So after asking her what the deal was, she does her little fake pause, like I'm dragging her out of something that required intense focus, shakes her head, "What? Oh no. It's at twelve-thirty."

Liar. Sonja likes lying. She always does the little fake pause with a shake of her head before she's going to lie. And she only lies to people she thinks are dumb enough to fall for it. But as I've so effectively painted myself into a corner with both my hands and feet tied, I really don't think there's a way for me to call her on her bullshit without seriously jeopardizing everything.

Good start to the day. Then there's nothing for breakfast. So I have a blonde brownie and go back upstairs to sneak another chapter from my book. Meanwhile, Sonja repeatedly asks Conrad to go get dressed. He finally gets around to it, but does not want to put socks on (doesn't want to wear sneakers). Conrad has a huge nasty veruca (plantar wart) on his big toe that is currently being treated by the local chiropodist. Said chiropodist has told him at each appointment that he needs to keep it dry and clean and needs to wear proper shoes and socks outside of the house, and socks inside the house (though that's mainly to keep from giving the rest of us nasty warts on our feet).

Anyway. Conrad doesn't want to do it. I figure he must be going with Sonja and that's why he needs socks and shoes. So I go up to his room, get a pair of socks and bring them down to him while she's on the phone. He won't put them on. I ask him a few times, each time he says "no" (or some variation). Finally he wants to know why he has to put them on and I tell him that both his mother and I have asked him to put them on. He maintains he's not going to put them on.

Bear in mind, every word that comes out of his mouth is so heavily-laden with attitude I can't believe Sonja isn't stepping in. Oh no wait. She's on the phone. Why should she involve herself in the parenting of her child when there's somebody else to talk to?

So I give Conrad one last chance to comply, then tell him he's to go to his room. Yeah. Possibly an overreaction on my part. But it's the attitude that's pissed me off. How does a kid learn how to be that fucking insolent? I am STILL afraid to talk to my mother like that. It would've never even crossed my mind to speak like that to a grownup when I was his age....I knew what the repercussions would've been. And therein lies Conrad's problem...there are NO repercussions. Anyway. I tell him to go to his room and he stares at me. So I start to count to three (thanks Mom...I will use the "count to three" threat forever. It usually works like a charm). This morning it managed to get Conrad moving, but didn't stop him from sarcastically mimicking my counting as he walked off. So I walked to the foot of the stairs to make sure he went up there. He now starts making faces at me since he can't echo what I'm saying (not speaking at the moment, just glaring). I very calmly inform him that if that's how he's gonna act he can spend the day in his room. "Oh really? I'm gonna spend the day in my room?" he taunts before going to his room. I sit on the stairs, waiting for Sonja to get off the phone and the shit to hit the fan.

Sure enough.

Me: Sonja. He's been sent to his room for the day.
Sonja: Why?
Me: Refused to put on socks and being really rude and answering back something scandalous.
Sonja: (yelling up the stairs) CONRAD! PUT ON SOCKS!

...she then proceeds to belittle him and talk down to him. He cries (I suspect it's because he thinks he's not going to be able to play us off each other. He gets upset whenever a united front is presented). She yells at him for crying. She then goes upstairs and tells him to get ready. He does. I go into my room and wait for him to go downstairs. Once he's downstairs, I go up to Sonja in Conrad's room and quietly ask if Conrad really has to go with her because otherwise my authority takes another hit. I ask quietly so Conrad can't hear because that would also deliver a few knocks to my standing. Does Sonja respond at a similar volume. Of course not. She turns on me and starts yelling. "I do not want you disciplining my son anymore if I'm home. You're undermining my standing as a parent. You're taking over. No more."

Fair enough. No really. I quietly nodded my head, said okay, then went back into my room and sat on my bed.

She went on to shout down the stairs that sending him to his room as punishment would only be acceptible if "he stabbed you with a knife or something serious like that."

Hello rock bottom.

At least, I hope to hell this is the worst it can get because I'm just about at my limits.

I fully understand her being upset if she thought I was trying to take over. Fully understand. What is unacceptable is her shouting at me. Not only is that no way to reprimand an employee, it's also a manipulative and conniving way of making sure you further put me in my supposed place since your ill-mannered brat of a child can hear every word. And establishing stabbing as the only acceptable crime to be punished by being sent to his room was a nice extra touch.

Today I can say I actually hate them. Not dislike or detest or prefer to avoid, I actually hate this family. I'm not surprised they've gone through as many au pairs as they have. I'm surprised they can get anybody to stay for longer than two months.

And I don't think they're going to pay for school after all. She's gonna stonewall me until it's too late for me get the money together myself. She's THAT much of a manipulative bitch.

They're going to Greece for a week. She might've told me. I could've planned/saved to go home during that week. Now it's too late. Best part? She's heard me comment at least once a day how much I miss my family or how homesick I am.

My ears hurt from listening to headphones for so long. It's almost 9:45. I want to eat dinner. Guests are still here though.

Oh iPod. Thank you for that laugh. Forgot I had Fall Out Boy. Hooray for shuffle.

I've run out of steam. I feel so utterly dejected and so utterly furious at the same time I'm a little confused. I want a cigarette. And a really strong vodka tonic. Mostly just a cigarette though. I'll wait until after they all go to bed. Sucks.